self-conscious in front of a camera?
(Yeah, me too. That's typically why I stand behind it.)
First of all, you're normal! 99% of humans* and 75% of animals** feel self-conscious in front of the camera. It's just a fact that when we're conscious of someone watching us, especially when they have a camera, we go into performance mode. That's not necessarily a bad thing. It just means the awareness of self has been heightened.
So how to we fight the urge for our brains to take over and make our faces do what we think they should do instead of just being natural?
1 — clothes can make-or-break your brain
Picking out an outfit often brings the most stress to people preparing for a photoshoot.
If those pants are cute but uncomfortable, put them back.
Pick out something that makes you feel confident, comfortable, and most importantly, like you. Constantly adjusting an uncomfortable waistband, loose strap, or worrying about how something fits will take you out of your experience, potentially causing tension in your mind and body. Think about the pieces you already love. Not only do you know what makes you feel confident and comfortable, it will save you some money. And if you do need to order something, give yourself plenty of time. Don't rush to Amazon the night before.
Colors are hard!
100% — You are absolutely right.
Here are some suggestions — soft, neutral colors (cream, grays, muted greens, or warm, earth tones) typically photograph well, keeping the focus on faces. If you're a bold color lover, pick one and base the rest of your outfit around its complimentary colors to keep things balanced.
When dressing families or groups, coordinate instead of match. Pick patterns, fabrics and colors that "go" instead of all wearing the exact same thing. This will allow for visual interest.
Confidence is key.
When you feel good and comfortable in what you are wearing, you can let go and enjoy the moment. The prep work is worth it, I promise.
* **Don't check those statistics, but I'm probably close.
2 — just look away!
Looking straight into the camera isn't always the choice. Embrace it. Perfection isn't priority.
For me, photography is about meaningful moments. There are times when everyone looking directly into the camera is the priority. However, let's not forget the in between moments. My goal to catch those because they are real and true. The ones that you didn't remember happening. Those are the prize.
One way to get these photos is simply to talk to each other. Tell silly jokes. (Dad jokes will really help with those fun expressions.) Laugh. Whisper secrets to each other.
Feel the freedom of letting go of perfection and focus on connection.
This will allow your expressions to soften and your body language to become natural. Real smiles replace posed ones. Genuine laughter replaces forced grins. Even quiet moments — foreheads touching, eyes closed, arms wrapped around each other — tell a deeper story than a perfectly staged pose ever could.
If you’re you're feeling unsure, guidance through simple prompts can help — walk together, to tell your partner what you love about them, or to spin your little one around. These small movements create authentic reactions.
When you focus on that connection, the photos feel like home.
3 — just keep moving
It's uncommon to see someone sitting or standing in a stiff manner. In photos, that stiff posture feels amplified.
Standing still and stiff can cause us to overthink — what do I do with my hands, is my smile real, can the photographer sense that I'm nervous? Take a deep breath and relax. We were created to sense small changes in ourselves and others. This holds true when looking a photo. At first glance, two photos may look the same, one natural but the other can feel "off." Tense shoulders, forced smiles, or nervous hands can be small, but can make an image feel unnatural.
Movement is what brings energy, softness, and authenticity into your photos. Your movement, makes you, you!
Sway gently side to side. Walk hand in hand. Pull someone in for a quick hug. Twirl your dress. Pick up your child and spin them around. Tell a secret. Even something as simple as shifting your weight, brushing hair away from your face, or adjusting a sleeve creates natural transitions that feel effortless on camera.
Walking together naturally brings you closer and creates connection. A playful nudge or silly joke leads to real laughter. A spontaneous tickle turns into joyful chaos. These are the moments that feel alive — not staged.
Don’t worry about doing it “right.” The photographer's job is to guide you with simple prompts and direction so the movement feels natural, not forced.
4 — don't say cheese
Let's face it. We all say it. Where did the tradition even start?
(Honestly, just yelling Poop! is 10X more effective.)
There are plenty of ways to get a genuine smile. "Think happy thoughts" isn't just for Peter Pan fans.
What makes you happy — a favorite memory, a private joke, the way your child laughs, or something your favorite person does that always makes you laugh. Real smiles show up in your eyes, your cheeks, and has a way of soften your whole face. That kind of joy can’t be forced.
When we try too hard to “look happy,” smiles can feel tight or rehearsed. (I always imagine the "nervous" emoji when I think of someone saying cheese.) Take a deep breath. Relax. Allow yourself to feel silly or happy or content. When you let yourself actually feel something, your expression becomes effortless, whether it be a big laugh, a small quiet grin, or just a peaceful look.
If you start to feel awkward, that’s completely normal. Almost everyone does at the beginning of a session. Give yourself a few minutes to settle in. We’ll chat, move around, and ease into it naturally. Often the best smiles happen right after you think the moment is over — when you exhale, relax, and forget you’re being photographed.
5 — trust the process
Don't worry. I got you.
I know it isn't natural for most people to have their photo taken. It isn't natural for me, and that's why I will do everything I can to make you feel comfortable. In fact, I hope by the end of the session you will have had a good time!
My goal as a photographer is that you build a trust with me to insure that I will be aware of All The Things. I've been doing this for over 20 years, so it comes natural for me to notice where the light is, create flattering body angles, and most importantly, create connection. If I ask you to turn slightly, step into a patch of light, or shift your weight, it’s not random. Small adjustments make a big difference in how natural and beautiful the final image feels.
I’ll guide you with simple prompts rather than rigid poses. Instead of “stand here and smile,” it might be “walk toward me and talk about your favorite coffee,” or “pull her in close and tell her a secret.” These little directions create authentic reactions.
And here’s something most people don’t realize: the magic often happens in between. It’s the laugh right after the prompt. The exhale. The quick glance. The way you naturally lean into each other when you think I’m not clicking the shutter. Those in-between moments are usually the ones you’ll treasure most.
6 — perfection isn't perfect
The most meaningful images aren’t the ones where everything is perfectly placed — they’re the ones that feel real.
In the race for perfection, connection is lost. We worry about every strand of hair, every smile being symmetrical, every child standing still. But the magic usually happens when we loosen our grip and let things unfold naturally. Genuine laughter. A spontaneous hug. A child running back into your arms. Those are the moments that carry emotion.
Kids especially don’t do “perfect” — they do real. They giggle unexpectedly, make funny faces, cling tightly, or wander off. Instead of correcting every little thing, sometimes the best approach is to lean into it. Years from now, you won’t remember whether everyone was standing perfectly straight — you’ll remember how it felt.
Photographs are moments captured, life heirlooms, time capsules of our lives.
Our moments won't always be ideal, and if they were, life would be stale and boring. We would lack the ability to appreciate the truly perfect moments. The beauty of capturing life in photos, flaws and all, shows that life is good and beautiful just the way it is.
